A Failure to Communicate

If communication is the lifeblood of all of our relationships, then why are we so bad at it? The famous line from the movie, Cool Hand Luke, comes to mind, “What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.”

Most, if not all of our problems in life stem from this failure. To address this, I’ve come up with a short list of guidelines that, in my opinion, increase the odds of success:

1. Listen more than talk.
2. Acknowledge and validate what is being said.
3. Be present.
4. Let go of your agenda.
5. Don’t give advice unless asked.
6. Speak from your experience.
7. Ask questions.
8. Share resources that have worked for you.
9. Be brief and to the point.
10. Allow for space and silence between the words.
11. Breathe.
12. Don’t get caught in the details; look for the bigger picture.
13. Stay away from gossip and judgment of others.
14. End the conversation on a high note.
15. Remember that everyone wants the same thing: to be loved.

Some others I might add, include making eye contact, touching someone on the arm or shoulder, using receptive body language and gestures, etc. However, cultural differences will influence the best approach in these areas as each culture interprets non-verbal signals differently. Regardless, it is important to use culturally appropriate gestures to stay connected, and when in a new culture, to learn what those gestures are.

Our world needs healing and how we communicate with each other is a great place to start.